Out of Bounds - A Place of Fire

Reflecting upon my gymnastics days for a creative writing assignment turned out to be startlingly relevant- 2020 has been all about revisiting “Out of Bounds” and turning fear and disappointment into power and magic. As of March, I was waiting tables and teaching tots gymnastics classes in LA while part-time assistant directing at a local theatre company. 6 months later, I’m temporarily back in the Bay finishing a certificate in digital marketing and working for a fine arts investment company while volunteering for a rad podcast. I’ve struggled a lot between then and now and things aren’t all suddenly better, but I’m proud of myself for rolling with the punches in so many ways. Don’t forget to acknowledge how far you’ve come these past 6 months and how much you’ve survived and thrived.

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Once upon a time, there lived a 12-year-old gymnast who was always the tallest in the team lineup. Her coach called her “Willow” because of her unusual height, teasing her whenever she arched her back in a handstand atop the high bar because she lacked the core strength to fully control her long legs. “Wiiiilowww,” he’d say in his thick Romanian accent, “did you leave your muscles at home in the fridge?”

Every day​, Willow completed twice as many sit-ups to keep up with her pint-sized teammates, girls like Miranda who could fling their compact bodies through every inversion with ease. Every inch she grew meant another obstacle in her intensive training regiment for the upcoming competitive season. Despite these challenges, she became one of the fiercest athletes on her team, poised to be a top contender for the coveted Judge’s Cup at the season opening meet.

But one day​, her hand slipped during a back handspring on the balance beam, and with it slipped her hopes of clinching the Cup. In one devastating fall, Willow shattered both her foot and her dreams.

She had to wear a cast for two months and couldn’t tumble on the floor like she used to. Instead, she’d sit off on the sidelines, imagining herself executing the perfect floor routine over and over as each of her teammates practiced their moves along with the music. Outside the white-taped boundaries of the mat, she could focus within. Gymnasts were not meant to step outside this boundary- doing so incurred a harsh deduction known as Out of Bounds. No one thought she could make a comeback, but no one except Willow dared to think Out of Bounds.

She worked even harder on the skills she was able to and became stronger in new ways. To get around the gym, she walked on her hands, never relying on crutches. Flimsy handstands soon became a thing of the past, and “Willow” was no longer a wry nickname. “Willow” meant adaptability. “Willow” meant resilience. “Willow” meant graceful bends against violent winds.

Now free from old definitions and the burden of her cast, she repeated ankle strengthening exercises with her stretchy band, spelling out the word “Willow” again and again as she flexed and pointed her way through physical therapy. Gathering her power, she quickly vaulted back into the game.

It became clear that Willow would return to competition, despite the odds. She may have missed her chance to fight for the Judge’s Cup, but she could still fight her way to the climactic State Championship by posting a high enough score at the final qualifying meet.

There she was at the Championship, just one floor routine to go before her shot- one routine by the top challenger, her teammate Miranda. Adrenaline pulsing through her small frame, Miranda catastrophically stepped Out of Bounds on her opening tumbling pass. Out of Bounds was a frightening, unfamiliar place for Miranda. She didn’t know how to turn the initial fear and disappointment found there into power and magic.

Willow wasn’t aware of any of this because she too was Out of Bounds, envisioning the perfect routine one last time before her chance to shine. Summoning her fire, she stepped onto the mat with a confident salute, delivering the most passionate and flawless performance of her gymnastics career. Everyone was stunned. 9.85. 9.85. 9.85 flashing across the scoreboard. She’d done it. Willow mounted the first place podium, feeling taller than ever before.

No one ever underestimated Willow’s grit and determination again, and whenever she felt discouraged, she remembered her astounding comeback and reminded herself that Out of Bounds was not a place of fear, but a place of fire.